Sunday, February 20, 2011

Hormone Song by MEW

I have a little pill
doesn't look like much to me
before it came along
I was sad and so lonely.

Even though folks were around
I didn't hear that sound
of laughter and happiness
rage in my heart was found.

And so the doctor said to me
I think I have a remedy
let me give you this prescrip
before you check into the mental county

It will bring you back to yourself
it will make all things new
it's called Estrogen
"don't worry I take it too."

My husband got a ticket
on the way to the pharmacy
fear gripping his every part
stayin alive's how he wanted to be.

Hubby holdin his breath standing by my side
the pill went down with some water's sip
waiting for relief and my return
away from this sweating stranger's grip.

Believing this could be too good
could this really be true?
that this pill's promise soon would come
I could smile and sing again too?

Five days later there was a glimpse
of that Mary Ellen we used to know
a sparkle, a snicker, and even some sleep returned
the signs we had searched for so long high and low.

And today almost two weeks have come and gone
that little pill has worked real good
and now we can party and laugh and giggle
more of the day than not I feel just like I should.

Who would have thought a little white pill
could make such a change in our life
Hubby can joke free from fear
Almost like when she became his wife.

No more constant but occasional temps rise up from hell
the lady of the house begins to yell
"It's so hot in here!  Let's open a window!"
Why? no one can explain, not a soul can tell.

I love life again and that pill it's true
what the doctor said and the promise given
when she said it will help and restore so much
I have come back happily joining the livin.

You're Beautiful

A wonderful song that sings my heart song right now.

You are beautiful.

Me too.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

To serve is to love

As I posted yesterday and now restate:  My hormones are kicking my butt.  Nevertheless Jim and I have concluded that when possible we will smile at my attempt to remain kind in the midst of desiring to remove his head.  And blessed is the occasion when we can laugh.  I laugh first and then he knows he can laugh with me.  I feel bad (and anyone would) when the unfortunate occasion comes that he laughs first and I do not follow.  And still he is a sweet kind companion that merely desires for me to be happy.
Yesterday he neglectfully rang my cell phone to inform me that we are having a guest arrive in a few minutes that will be here for the evening and will spend the night in our other house guest area.  She is the sweetest soul and so easy and unpretentious.  She also needs to eat.  As do I.  As does Jim.
Jim and I can fend for ourselves and I would love to have a regular cooking routine with dinner complete and nutrition at the top of the list but I have not attained that at this stage.  I have wained.  But I digress.  That will be a different post.
So the question remains hanging in the air in the emptiness of cell phone land "Should we eat at home or would you prefer to eat out?  I am so willing to take us out to eat and we can go wherever we decide.  But we do have that yummy chicken and all those fresh things we just got from Bountiful Baskets.  So you tell me and we will do whatever you want.  If you want us to go and you be left in quiet...that is fine too."
See?  Isn't he amazing? 
So I did not respond.  I only said we will see when I get home which will be in about an hour.  Is that ok?
So when I returned home I realized how silly it would be to go out to eat with this plethor of food, so I cooked.
I wasn't so tickled when I started but as these sweet people (Jim and Elizabeth) visited as I cooked and we began to smile and laugh about little and big things my heart began to swell.
It felt good to put together some yummy nutritious simple food and add some love and special to it and then watch them eat it.  It was warm and just right and not pretentious or perfect.  Just simple.
It is the beauty of serving that brings out a warmth inside that my heart needed at the moment.  I needed to put my hands to work (not that hard even) and desire an ease of the evening for everyone.  As I softened and thought of others and put my hormones aside I reminded myself how this service stuff works.  It is a beautiful time when others enjoy my efforts and I can think of someone else and their comfort and pleasure and consequently I am served.
God is a master at creating win/win situations.  When I serve then I am served.  That's a win/win if I ever saw one. 

Saturday, February 5, 2011

My hormones

...are kickin my butt.  I have been so upbeat about the next stage of my life and how this transition is going to free my body up from the early stages of flux to somewhat of a evenness.  But this is literally wiping me out.  I am going to the doctor.  I give.  I will beg or plead or whatever I have to do to get some help with this.
My brain has been so foggy that even writing (which is so easy for me) has been a struggle.  It is very strange having no reactions to things.  Just like the emotional barometer reads ZERO.  I search for words.  I cry without warning.  I react to things too fast. 
I throw in the towel.  I give. win.
For today. 
Soon I will have something in my possession that will kick your butt back.  And then I will be very very pleased.
Have fun with me today.  Churn my emotions, mess up my vocabulary, cause rivers of persperation.  Have at it.  Your days are numbered.

What I heard at 4:30 am