Monday, July 25, 2011

Quote for the rest of my life...

"I've allowed you to hold me back my whole life just to come to find out you were never real. You have no power over me, I have replaced you with Love and Trust. You are Fear and you've met your match." ~ Jackson Kiddard

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Monday, July 11, 2011

A new day

Did you know that everyday is a new day?  I suppose I have heard that so many times it seems silly and cliche.  I know.  But when I stop to consider it is truly a new day it boggles my mind.  Instead of being afraid that I might put off something and regret that I hadn't used my time wisely or had frittered away precious moments I can relax and know that in perfect order.  And just perhaps the perfect design of a Father's hands are preparing a time to do tasks and talks and creativity when it would be the very best.  So I can look at today, at this moment, and realize that it is a new day.  What will this day bring?  What does God want me to know now?  I can be still and listen and not worry that the business is waiting to be done.  I can be still and listen and enjoy these moments of time and get all I can out of each and every one.
Today is the next day in my eternity.  No other time but right now.  Right now I am enjoying eternity.  That makes all this craziness and sometimes sadness and occasional silliness so fabulous.  I don't have to wait for eternity.  It is now. 

The Great Room

 Our new big and beautiful new great room!  The banana tree came from a home where the "parents" were moving and so we bought it from them.  It doesn't look like it but the plant is actually a whopping 12 ft. tall!  The rooms toward the front are yet to be finished thus the crazy green paint above the door.
Thanks Barb for the chairs!

My grand angel that Jim gave me for Christmas.  She is finally where she belongs!


Mother-in-law's Tongue...yes...that is the name for this plant!

Saturday, July 2, 2011

I give up.

I give up.  I give up that I can ever have the body of my dreams by dreaming about it. 

I give up.  I give up that I can ever have a strong body without exercise.

I give up.  I give up the denial that haunts me every every day.

I give up.  I allow myself to fail and say "Hm.  That was interesting." Then I move on.

I give up.  I give up making myself self sabotage.

I give up.  I give up sugar.  Most of the time.  It does not serve me.

I give up.  I give up eating when I am not hungry.

I have to give up these previous ways first before I can move on to the next step.  I am ready to see all the times and places and feelings I choose out of because they are scary or unknown or I might fail.  Before when I felt them I chose to shut down and eat.  My eating habits are disconnecting me from my true feelings.  My true feelings may come up and tell me that something hurt or embarrassed me or I failed.  So I shut them down.
The problem is when I decide to shut something down then I shut down the good stuff too.  I have sacrificed so many good honorable true feelings along with my pain. 
So when I am scared to see or trust or feel then I can remember that some of these feelings might be terrific. 
And all of them are seen by God.  I know that I am known better than I know myself.  So I choose to trust too.  And really, after all, when I say I can't see something because it might hurt too much or feel too uncomfortable I am choosing to not have faith.  I am saying in essence "I don't trust."
So I choose to trust.
I choose to exercise.
I choose to feel.
I choose to cry if it is time.
I choose to laugh if is time.
I choose to be who I am created to be.

Dear Amazing Girl,

I receive these amazing messages from a website called Brave Girls Club.  Here is one that spoke to me so loudly today that as I went to copy it I couldn't for whatever the reason so I had to copy it word for word.  That made it even better!  So here it is:

 Sometimes the bravest thing we ever have to do is accept a different answer to a wish, a dream, a hope or a prayer than the one we were asking for, and trust that it is still going to work out o.k. int he end.

No one is immune from disappointments, and confusing turns of events, and things turning our waaaaaaaay different than we planned on.  Our characters are built, our patience is grown, and our hearts are strengthened when these things ways that they could not have otherwise.

A lot of suffering can be passed by when we just TRUST that things are working out even when we can't see how it is possible.  So many times, we have to travel through a "rough part of town" to get to the most beautiful parts...and there is no other way but through those parts.  If you are in one of the "rough" parts right now...just keep moving...soon you will see the places that you were headed to when you set off on this journey.  If you stop will be stuck exactly where you are.

Sooo, keep moving, friend.  Keep your chin up, keep your thought in happy places...keep believing, keep dreaming, keep hoping, keep wishing, keep praying...and most importantly...keep the faith.  This is all headed somewhere good!