Monday, September 21, 2009

My name is Teacher

When I was a little girl I had a favorite shirt. It was my first choice because it felt good. I don't even remember what it looked like, although it was on the tshirt side. I wore it for days. Days. I don't know how I got away with it. And when it started getting really noticeable, I would turn it inside out and wear it more. I think that is a telling detail of many of us. We don't like change.
But change is good. It causes me to decide on the priority of things. It allows me to consider what is really important and what is not so important. When a favorite mug meets its maker by shattering on the tile floor I am sad. But then I realize how many other fun mugs I have in my cupboard that I like a lot.
However, other changes can carry way more weight. For instance, a growing child will shock me when a birthday comes and they are not in my class anymore. I have one of those. I have several, but Brayden has been with me since he was 2.

There were many Sunday School days when he was my only student. And last spring when he declared that "next birthday imo be 6!" my heart sank. He is my charming sweet boy that never calls me Miss Mary Ellen or Mary Ellen or anything else except Teacher. That is my name now. Brayden blessed me with the title and all other students have followed in his stead. I am Teacher and I am very proud of this name. I have indeed earned it. What's even crazier is I was Brayden's mommy's Teacher too. I remember her beautiful brown eyes and pretty blond hair and sweet smile. Sometimes Brayden and now his brother Noah smiles with their mommy's smile. I love the reminder. I remember when she sat up at the Christmas play so tall and sang so sweetly all alone in her first solo with the microphone up to her mouth and I cried. I remember when she left my class too. And I cried then.
Now I am crying again. I don't want Brayden to grow but I do. I can't imagine how his mommy and daddy are feeling. I just know how I do. I want him to stay in my class forever, but the time has come for him to move on.
I have felt this way so many times and quite frankly I am sick of it. Yes, sick. These beautiful babies grace my world and I am so fortunate as to be the one that wipes their noses and make them laugh and they make me laugh. I watch as they learn to hold a crayon and sing a new song. I beam when I hear them say their abc's and watch them write their name. I see their pride when they remember the lesson from last week and remember how wonderful Jesus' love is for us. I never want them to forget it and I think somehow if they stayed in my class just maybe they would never forget it. That's silly. Of course they will remember. Many more are standing in line to teach them and walk with them and love on them. I just want it be me.
So don't forget me Brayden. Remember who Moses is and remember how he was so brave so you can be too. And remember Zaccheus and David and when God made what because you know now. I know others will help you remember and of course Mommy and Daddy will too. I will certainly not forget what we have learned together.
So go to the next stage precious boy and learn more and more and more. And always when you see me remember, my name is Teacher.

A Shower of Love and Gifts

Jessica, my sweet neice is just about to give birth to Gracey. Gracey will be Scott and Jessica's third baby. Abbey and Carson are ready to hold, play and feed that baby if she would ever get here! She isn't late yet, but Jessica is ready now! The church that Jessica attends showered her with many gifts and a beautiful get together. We commented how we were missing Jessica's mom Brenda. And also Diane along with a few others, but the turnout was great.

These diaper cakes were on almost every table. The gals at the Nazarene Church went above and beyond to make it so fun. Jessica went home with a unreal amount of diapers!

Aren't their faces so sweet. These little girls are so into these little precious gifts. The red head is Abbey, my great niece and Gracey's sister.

It was so fun to see everyone having such a good time and the food was yum. Meatballs, bread wrapped weinies, cream puffs, fruit salad, green crunchy salad. And then after all of that...cake!
She made a HAUL!!! What a wonderful showering of gifts. Come quickly Gracey!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

The old stairs come down!

They started by removing the stairs in sections. This is a photo of the second part of the old stairs removal. They had already removed the first section. Not a great pic, but you can see the section gone. I filmed the removal of the second part and it is on my you tube link! Sooooo exciting!

...and now the old stairs are gone!!! We have a completely new look and after the welder completes all of the work on the spiral stairs then the deck construction will begin! Wooooohooooo!

Monday, September 7, 2009

Letting go

I have recently been faced with a crazy idea. Letting go of all expectations. What? Letting go? Letting go of a time frame of when my deck will be done or when the rest of the house will be done. Or letting go that ANYONE will be kind to me today or that I will get all the things on my list of things to do done today. Or when I have a plan, that depends on anyone else to let go that they will do their part. When I let go, I allow all those feelings of disappointment, or unmet expectations or those "less-than" feelings to exit my life. Because then it's all up to me to create what I want, what I deserve...what I own. I free myself up from waiting for another to make me happy or meet my needs. I have all I need in and of myself. I can give that gift to all in my life because I am not waiting for them to perform for me or create a feeling for me.
As I was folding the blanket on the couch the other day for the 18th time I realized I was feeling annoyed and resentful. How many times does he pick up that blanket and it is magically folded? Does it EVER occur to him that someone comes along and folds it every time he uses it? Or does he think that it is inconvenient to have to unfold it when he wants to take a nap?
I laughed at myself. It was really funny! I fold the blanket because I want it folded. No one else seems to care, but I do. So why not just fold the stupid thing and smile because it is as I want my little world in the TV room to be?
I cannot wait for Jim to perform tasks as I see they get to be. He is looking at the world from a completely different view. He is so wonderful to me. If I ask him for ANYTHING...literally anything...he would go to ends of the earth to give it to me. So his lack of folding should have nothing to do with how I feel or how I feel he feels about me.
Don't know if any of this makes any sense except to me. And that's great because I wrote it for myself to see how it feels for me.
"I let go of all expectations..."

The spiral staircase is going up!

...once the spiral is complete then the old staircase will be removed, allowing construction for the new deck! Woot!

Here is another view. Exciting, huh?