As I posted yesterday and now restate: My hormones are kicking my butt. Nevertheless Jim and I have concluded that when possible we will smile at my attempt to remain kind in the midst of desiring to remove his head. And blessed is the occasion when we can laugh. I laugh first and then he knows he can laugh with me. I feel bad (and anyone would) when the unfortunate occasion comes that he laughs first and I do not follow. And still he is a sweet kind companion that merely desires for me to be happy.
HOWEVER:
Yesterday he neglectfully rang my cell phone to inform me that we are having a guest arrive in a few minutes that will be here for the evening and will spend the night in our other house guest area. She is the sweetest soul and so easy and unpretentious. She also needs to eat. As do I. As does Jim.
Jim and I can fend for ourselves and I would love to have a regular cooking routine with dinner complete and nutrition at the top of the list but I have not attained that at this stage. I have wained. But I digress. That will be a different post.
So the question remains hanging in the air in the emptiness of cell phone land "Should we eat at home or would you prefer to eat out? I am so willing to take us out to eat and we can go wherever we decide. But we do have that yummy chicken and all those fresh things we just got from Bountiful Baskets. So you tell me and we will do whatever you want. If you want us to go and you be left in quiet...that is fine too."
See? Isn't he amazing?
So I did not respond. I only said we will see when I get home which will be in about an hour. Is that ok?
"Absolutely."
So when I returned home I realized how silly it would be to go out to eat with this plethor of food, so I cooked.
I wasn't so tickled when I started but as these sweet people (Jim and Elizabeth) visited as I cooked and we began to smile and laugh about little and big things my heart began to swell.
It felt good to put together some yummy nutritious simple food and add some love and special to it and then watch them eat it. It was warm and just right and not pretentious or perfect. Just simple.
It is the beauty of serving that brings out a warmth inside that my heart needed at the moment. I needed to put my hands to work (not that hard even) and desire an ease of the evening for everyone. As I softened and thought of others and put my hormones aside I reminded myself how this service stuff works. It is a beautiful time when others enjoy my efforts and I can think of someone else and their comfort and pleasure and consequently I am served.
God is a master at creating win/win situations. When I serve then I am served. That's a win/win if I ever saw one.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Saturday, February 5, 2011
My hormones
...are kickin my butt. I have been so upbeat about the next stage of my life and how this transition is going to free my body up from the early stages of flux to somewhat of a evenness. But this is literally wiping me out. I am going to the doctor. I give. I will beg or plead or whatever I have to do to get some help with this.
My brain has been so foggy that even writing (which is so easy for me) has been a struggle. It is very strange having no reactions to things. Just like the emotional barometer reads ZERO. I search for words. I cry without warning. I react to things too fast.
I throw in the towel. I give.
Menopause...you win.
For today.
Soon I will have something in my possession that will kick your butt back. And then I will be very very pleased.
Have fun with me today. Churn my emotions, mess up my vocabulary, cause rivers of persperation. Have at it. Your days are numbered.
My brain has been so foggy that even writing (which is so easy for me) has been a struggle. It is very strange having no reactions to things. Just like the emotional barometer reads ZERO. I search for words. I cry without warning. I react to things too fast.
I throw in the towel. I give.
Menopause...you win.
For today.
Soon I will have something in my possession that will kick your butt back. And then I will be very very pleased.
Have fun with me today. Churn my emotions, mess up my vocabulary, cause rivers of persperation. Have at it. Your days are numbered.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
My New Addition
We have a new guest in the house. It came in a 224 lb. box and yesterday it was assembled. It is metal and big and has a backlit display. It will only move if I move it. It will cause me to sweat and move if I allow it. Otherwise it will just stand there looking at me with its stationary gaze wondering when I will make it do it's thing.
It is an elliptical.
It is beautiful.
I am certain sometimes I will think it is not beautiful.
But today I love it.
It is so easy and simple. I get up. I put on my shoes. I plug in my ipod and turn on the fan. I have my TV remote close in case I want to watch something. And then I sweat. And then I can be complete. I didn't have to drive anywhere or put on my coat. I don't have to pay a gym fee and no one has to see me on it. But you can if you want. You can come over anytime between 5:00 am and 6:30 am and sometime in there I will be on it.
Yay!
It is an elliptical.
It is beautiful.
I am certain sometimes I will think it is not beautiful.
But today I love it.
It is so easy and simple. I get up. I put on my shoes. I plug in my ipod and turn on the fan. I have my TV remote close in case I want to watch something. And then I sweat. And then I can be complete. I didn't have to drive anywhere or put on my coat. I don't have to pay a gym fee and no one has to see me on it. But you can if you want. You can come over anytime between 5:00 am and 6:30 am and sometime in there I will be on it.
Yay!
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Christmas Eve
Because the holidays (definition: Holy Days) are so jam packed with activity and fun I have discovered many events that have gone unposted. So many that I neglected to even get pics for! Dang it. But I want to record Christmas Eve events.
Every Christmas Eve Jim and I host a Open House. We always have the house open to anyone who would like to stop by or sit and stay all night if they desire. This year was fun for many reasons but one being that Jim is rockin on the great room. (pics to be posted soon) His efforts usually have a gasping reaction. This was really fun for him as he has been working like a dog.
The night before Christmas Eve I always put the beans on to soak. The next morning I get the going with onions, carrots and ham. They cook allllllllll day. This year they were especially good. I make rolls and have sandwich makings so all can make little sandwiches however they desire. I also had meatballs in the crock. And don't forget the wassel in the stove!
Then the treats were amazing if I do say so myself. I wish I had taken a pic. Dang it again.
Cheese ball, crackers, caramel popcorn, sweet chex mix, reeses bars, easy turtles, tiny chocolate chip cookies, veggies and dip, candies that folks gave. I can't remember it all.
That day during prep I realized there were a few items I had forgotten. Risking major facial responses I asked Jim if he would be open to going to the store. Suprisingly, he had no qualms about it. Providing a list and off he went happily. He also got a couple of stocking stuffers too.
When he returned I realized how genius this was. Because of my frugal nature I will stick to the list. Jim on the other hand purchases with his tummy and with generosity. I asked him to buy another kind of soda. He returned with 4 liters of soda along with 2 more 24 can cases. I asked for one bag of ice. I got 2. I asked for a package of celery hearts. I got 3. And it goes on. What a hoot. He was grinning and happy. Jim loves a party.
Folks started to arrive at 5. I must say that next year this will be ever more comfortable as we will have the great room to use. At this stage we were busting out of the seams and I was in seventh heaven. Family faces, friends with love and hugs and smiles, some bearing gifts, some bearing treats but all willing to share together this wonderful time of year.
To those who shared this special time with us I have to say a gracious huge thank you. When you bless our home you leave part of you here for us to still enjoy. The memory of your laughter and sweetness continues. May all the world begin to know this year the love I have around me. I wish that will all the wishes and fairy dust and prayers on my knees and in my greatest imaginings. I wish all to have the security of the Babe in the manger who with such enduring love set out to make it possible for peace on earth and good will toward men. For without His love I would fain to judge and harden and worry. But with it I can love wholeheartedly and unabashadly. And I am so happy to do so.
Praying for blessings from God to all this coming year.
Every Christmas Eve Jim and I host a Open House. We always have the house open to anyone who would like to stop by or sit and stay all night if they desire. This year was fun for many reasons but one being that Jim is rockin on the great room. (pics to be posted soon) His efforts usually have a gasping reaction. This was really fun for him as he has been working like a dog.
The night before Christmas Eve I always put the beans on to soak. The next morning I get the going with onions, carrots and ham. They cook allllllllll day. This year they were especially good. I make rolls and have sandwich makings so all can make little sandwiches however they desire. I also had meatballs in the crock. And don't forget the wassel in the stove!
Then the treats were amazing if I do say so myself. I wish I had taken a pic. Dang it again.
Cheese ball, crackers, caramel popcorn, sweet chex mix, reeses bars, easy turtles, tiny chocolate chip cookies, veggies and dip, candies that folks gave. I can't remember it all.
That day during prep I realized there were a few items I had forgotten. Risking major facial responses I asked Jim if he would be open to going to the store. Suprisingly, he had no qualms about it. Providing a list and off he went happily. He also got a couple of stocking stuffers too.
When he returned I realized how genius this was. Because of my frugal nature I will stick to the list. Jim on the other hand purchases with his tummy and with generosity. I asked him to buy another kind of soda. He returned with 4 liters of soda along with 2 more 24 can cases. I asked for one bag of ice. I got 2. I asked for a package of celery hearts. I got 3. And it goes on. What a hoot. He was grinning and happy. Jim loves a party.
Folks started to arrive at 5. I must say that next year this will be ever more comfortable as we will have the great room to use. At this stage we were busting out of the seams and I was in seventh heaven. Family faces, friends with love and hugs and smiles, some bearing gifts, some bearing treats but all willing to share together this wonderful time of year.
To those who shared this special time with us I have to say a gracious huge thank you. When you bless our home you leave part of you here for us to still enjoy. The memory of your laughter and sweetness continues. May all the world begin to know this year the love I have around me. I wish that will all the wishes and fairy dust and prayers on my knees and in my greatest imaginings. I wish all to have the security of the Babe in the manger who with such enduring love set out to make it possible for peace on earth and good will toward men. For without His love I would fain to judge and harden and worry. But with it I can love wholeheartedly and unabashadly. And I am so happy to do so.
Praying for blessings from God to all this coming year.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
The ages
I took an old lady out to lunch the other day. Seriously. I can say "an old lady" because she truly is and would consider herself as such. She is 92. She still drives, still has an upstairs apartment, still takes care of herself for the most part. She has definite ideas about how things are and how she wants her surroundings. She is tenacious about her home and set on the color she wants on her nails. She would love to be included in conversations but unfortunately cannot hear most. She has a great sense of humor and laughs at herself along with prodding others with a joke. Her body wants to stop and seize up and she will simply not allow it. Her fingers are riddled with arthritis and every ring she can get on. Her jewelry will wear out and not stay in the box. Her hair will always be done at the same time and she will always have a shampoo set and the ocassional perm with the same color toner.
Some have considered her overbearing and pushy as a younger woman. I say that is the very reason she is still alive and kicking.
She has taught me so much. Her family has taught me as well. You see, the very time that I think I know why someone is so headstrong and stubborn my impression will usually be incorrect. When this lady will say "You have to leave now? I so wish you could stay" she does not mean that your visit isn't good enough and that you will never be as pleasing to her as you would like. She is merely saying "I have so loved your visit and I just don't want it to come to an end."
And when she says "I never have company. I want the holidays to be over because they make me sad" she is not saying that she is a humbug. She is remembering all the other holidays in her life when she was surrounded by so many that have now passed on. She remembers her husband, mother, father, siblings, cousins. She is the only one left. She is simply reminded at the holidays that she is "alone".
Her family feels that she has judged them. Her family feels that their actions are never enough, never to her liking. I have learned that she is simply incapable of stating things in any other way. She will choose her words as she always has her entire long life.
I see the strength in her when others may see her weakness. When her body will not perform or the door that she is attempting to open will simply not budge since it weighs more than she does she is not weak. She is simply frail in body but such strength in her being. She has to be a realist at this stage. Fantasy will not serve her now. Reality is her friend.
What strength it must take to rise every morning, greet the day and choose in. So many "greater" ones have chosen out.
I admire this cantankerous set-in-her-ways lady. I love her home. It echoes of all that have held items there literally through the ages. Her tenacity rings in my heart and she teaches me.
So I will not neglect the simple time to take her to lunch, cut her steak, pack her to-go box, sit and visit in her sweet apartment and eat whatever treat she chooses to give me. I will send her a card in the mail because that is what she accustomed to. Mail. In the mailbox.
Every time I see her I choose to learn. I choose to love her and honor her.
Sharing it seals the deal.
Some have considered her overbearing and pushy as a younger woman. I say that is the very reason she is still alive and kicking.
She has taught me so much. Her family has taught me as well. You see, the very time that I think I know why someone is so headstrong and stubborn my impression will usually be incorrect. When this lady will say "You have to leave now? I so wish you could stay" she does not mean that your visit isn't good enough and that you will never be as pleasing to her as you would like. She is merely saying "I have so loved your visit and I just don't want it to come to an end."
And when she says "I never have company. I want the holidays to be over because they make me sad" she is not saying that she is a humbug. She is remembering all the other holidays in her life when she was surrounded by so many that have now passed on. She remembers her husband, mother, father, siblings, cousins. She is the only one left. She is simply reminded at the holidays that she is "alone".
Her family feels that she has judged them. Her family feels that their actions are never enough, never to her liking. I have learned that she is simply incapable of stating things in any other way. She will choose her words as she always has her entire long life.
I see the strength in her when others may see her weakness. When her body will not perform or the door that she is attempting to open will simply not budge since it weighs more than she does she is not weak. She is simply frail in body but such strength in her being. She has to be a realist at this stage. Fantasy will not serve her now. Reality is her friend.
What strength it must take to rise every morning, greet the day and choose in. So many "greater" ones have chosen out.
I admire this cantankerous set-in-her-ways lady. I love her home. It echoes of all that have held items there literally through the ages. Her tenacity rings in my heart and she teaches me.
So I will not neglect the simple time to take her to lunch, cut her steak, pack her to-go box, sit and visit in her sweet apartment and eat whatever treat she chooses to give me. I will send her a card in the mail because that is what she accustomed to. Mail. In the mailbox.
Every time I see her I choose to learn. I choose to love her and honor her.
Sharing it seals the deal.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Finally...
Oliver and Mickie finally got their stocking presents.
"I love my toys. Thank you Santa."
Cat Nip Theif
 |
| I heard some tinkling in the other room...went in to see what it was... |
He doesn't even look or act sorry at all. And he wasn't. Until I took it away and put his stocking out of reach.
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