Getting back into life...

For some time now I have carried burdens around and gulped them down as if I believed they actually would stay down. And yet they rear their head for they are unresolved and unlearned lessons that ought to be embraced instead of pushed aside. I push them aside because my limited perspective will not allow my eyes to see the entire picture. So I go to fear instead of trust.
God asks us to do things sometimes easy, sometimes crazy sounding, sometimes heart-wrenching. Why? Because He wants to see how much pain we will endure in trusting Him? Because He loves to see His children squirm? Because we have done something wrong and therefore He must chastise? No! He does all things for my learning, for me to draw close to Him, for me to learn that He is dependable and can see way farther than my limited eyesight is able.
So God told me to do something. Something painful and difficult. Something that I could not swallow. And then He asked me to trust Him. Simply trust. And wait for further instructions.
"Will You make it so clear that even my fearful heart will know when it is time and how it will be? Can I trust You that You know me so well that You know I cannot stand too long of a wait for anything? Will You comfort me as I have sleepless nights and cry tears that cannot find an end?"
God simply desires for me to recieve His promptings, accept them so we can get a move on. But I had to agonize first. Stupid yes, but understandable.
Yes, He made it clear. Yes, He surrounded me with unconditional love from those this would directly affect. I have no words to describe the love I feel for them.
And so I go forth. Like entering the fog I go where He has told me to go. He will show me my steps as they appear before me. I need not fear the rest of the path. He knows the way.