Here are some pictures of the new floor. I have added some pictures of the floor before it was refinished. It's hard to believe that this is the same floor!
Monday, May 30, 2011
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Cheerios and stuff.
Have you ever wondered why we grow up? I do. I know, I know, I am supposed to learn and mature and think of others and learn my manners and know how to say thank you and learn how to pay bills all on my own and take care of myself and learn that matches can hurt me and and and. But why must I lose that little girl that was so wonderful when she came here? The one that skipped and played and thought life was magic and a yummy bowl of cereal was good enough reason to get out of bed. I don't want the pigtails but I want the ruffles and flowers and idealism. I wonder when she left.
I think she is coming back. I think that's why the year 50 is so powerful. As this new stage happens I get to take care of me for once in many many years. I get to choose things that make just me happy. I get to play really hard with my grandchildren and other kids that come around. I have so many things to choose and paints to paint and laughter to have and jewelry to make and glue to stick underneath my fingernails.
How silly that all this time I was still that little girl but decided to act all grown up and wise and the things about me that others enjoy comes directly straight from that girl inside me. She is busting out and wanting to just simply be. I get to see my God from a place of innocence and simple belief that what He says He will do and sometimes I just don't have to know how.
Yay! I don't have to know how God is. I just have to know that He is.
Now, where did I put my Cheerios?
I think she is coming back. I think that's why the year 50 is so powerful. As this new stage happens I get to take care of me for once in many many years. I get to choose things that make just me happy. I get to play really hard with my grandchildren and other kids that come around. I have so many things to choose and paints to paint and laughter to have and jewelry to make and glue to stick underneath my fingernails.
How silly that all this time I was still that little girl but decided to act all grown up and wise and the things about me that others enjoy comes directly straight from that girl inside me. She is busting out and wanting to just simply be. I get to see my God from a place of innocence and simple belief that what He says He will do and sometimes I just don't have to know how.
Yay! I don't have to know how God is. I just have to know that He is.
Now, where did I put my Cheerios?
Monday, March 21, 2011
Anniversary
Jim and I just celebrated our 19th anniversary. 19 years on the 19th! What a ride it has been and continues to be. I honor my decision to ask Jim to marry me all those years ago because it was one of the most genius moves I have ever made. Jim harassed me (yes. harassed.) to marry him. After asking me with a ring, asking me over the phone, asking me in a card, asking me every single day to marry him he finally gave up. He asked so many times his heart couldn't handle it anymore. So he told me that when I knew what I was going to do then I would have to ask him.
Have you ever had your head struck with what seems like a cast iron frying pan? That's how it was for me. So obvious was it that I asked immediately and he was stunned. We married two months and a few days later. So many were heartbroken at this decision. But that was yesterday and today is today so no more of those memories. For it was genius.
Jim would go to the ends of the earth for me. If I said I desperately needed a new car he would break his back to get it for me. If I said I wanted some ice cream, some dinner, some money, some act of cleaning, some repair he will do it completely. With no hesitation and no complaint. He is willing. And yet if I ask him to not wear something that expresses himself or grow his hair back or not be honest he will never comply. He honors himself implicitly and I love that about him. Even when others crumble under pressure from everywhere, Jim will only act when he is inspired to or when his heart allows. He will never be someone else for you. He loves and honors himself way too much for that.
He honors me as well. He expects nothing less than for me to honor myself above him. Just when I thought I had this relationship thing figured out he challenges it and expects me to honor me above him. Then and only then can I be the authentic woman I am to be with him.
I have chosen wisely. Those days when you see me annoyed with him it is usually because he is asking and expecting me to be my best and what I know I am to be and I don't want to. Or because I want him to be something else besides who he truly is and he will not comply. Sometimes he simply screws up. Big deal. So do I.
Happy Anniversary Baby. It has been a journey. Can't wait to see what is next. I love you.
Have you ever had your head struck with what seems like a cast iron frying pan? That's how it was for me. So obvious was it that I asked immediately and he was stunned. We married two months and a few days later. So many were heartbroken at this decision. But that was yesterday and today is today so no more of those memories. For it was genius.
Jim would go to the ends of the earth for me. If I said I desperately needed a new car he would break his back to get it for me. If I said I wanted some ice cream, some dinner, some money, some act of cleaning, some repair he will do it completely. With no hesitation and no complaint. He is willing. And yet if I ask him to not wear something that expresses himself or grow his hair back or not be honest he will never comply. He honors himself implicitly and I love that about him. Even when others crumble under pressure from everywhere, Jim will only act when he is inspired to or when his heart allows. He will never be someone else for you. He loves and honors himself way too much for that.
He honors me as well. He expects nothing less than for me to honor myself above him. Just when I thought I had this relationship thing figured out he challenges it and expects me to honor me above him. Then and only then can I be the authentic woman I am to be with him.
I have chosen wisely. Those days when you see me annoyed with him it is usually because he is asking and expecting me to be my best and what I know I am to be and I don't want to. Or because I want him to be something else besides who he truly is and he will not comply. Sometimes he simply screws up. Big deal. So do I.
Happy Anniversary Baby. It has been a journey. Can't wait to see what is next. I love you.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Amiah did it again.
The other day I was inspired to show Ammon and Amiah all the places in Twin Falls that I have lived. I was suprised at how many places I have had my dwelling. One of the magical places I have lived was out in the country 6 miles from town in a rented farm house. There were barns, outbuildings, horses, sometimes pigs, chickens, dogs, cats, and an enormous garden.
As we headed out to the farm the kids were fascinated that we had lived so far out. "What about the mall? What about the grocery store or the movies or going to a friend's house?" After so many questions I realized it is unique to my own grandchildren how I was raised. They find it fascinating and a little scary.
As we crossed the second canal (which was a landmark for me as a child) I showed them the remains of the house where the landowners lived. Now it just a pile of old stone and dirt. I pointed out the place and told them "This is where the owners lived and we lived in the farm house way down there." As I pointed I looked at this grand big house and almost held my breath. There are no more outbuildings or barns. Only this big house standing alone. This house was a place where I learned so many things about myself. It was a magic house to me.
So we headed down to the house and slowed down as we passed. I noted the very large wrap around porch and showed them the window to my room. I told them quickly. They weren't getting it and I tend to shy away from sharing magical memories with ones who are limited to share it. Not that it matters in the spiritual nature of me, but I just tend to keep those things close to me and those that really get it. And they were not getting it. I think they were literally terrified at this final showing of places where I had laid my head and they were quite frankly sad for me! Ha! In their limited experiences this just simply looked horrid to them.
But the final question broke my melancholy visitation and took me to gut rolls.
Amiah looking quite confused asked again "So those people owned this house and lived down there? Why did they let you live here?" I explained how rentals worked and if someone owns more than one house they usually rent it out and use that money for extra income. I explained this in short order. Still confused she asked,
"Why wouldn't they live here instead of down the road in that pile of rocks?"
As we headed out to the farm the kids were fascinated that we had lived so far out. "What about the mall? What about the grocery store or the movies or going to a friend's house?" After so many questions I realized it is unique to my own grandchildren how I was raised. They find it fascinating and a little scary.
As we crossed the second canal (which was a landmark for me as a child) I showed them the remains of the house where the landowners lived. Now it just a pile of old stone and dirt. I pointed out the place and told them "This is where the owners lived and we lived in the farm house way down there." As I pointed I looked at this grand big house and almost held my breath. There are no more outbuildings or barns. Only this big house standing alone. This house was a place where I learned so many things about myself. It was a magic house to me.
So we headed down to the house and slowed down as we passed. I noted the very large wrap around porch and showed them the window to my room. I told them quickly. They weren't getting it and I tend to shy away from sharing magical memories with ones who are limited to share it. Not that it matters in the spiritual nature of me, but I just tend to keep those things close to me and those that really get it. And they were not getting it. I think they were literally terrified at this final showing of places where I had laid my head and they were quite frankly sad for me! Ha! In their limited experiences this just simply looked horrid to them.
But the final question broke my melancholy visitation and took me to gut rolls.
Amiah looking quite confused asked again "So those people owned this house and lived down there? Why did they let you live here?" I explained how rentals worked and if someone owns more than one house they usually rent it out and use that money for extra income. I explained this in short order. Still confused she asked,
"Why wouldn't they live here instead of down the road in that pile of rocks?"
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Bowling on the deck
Darn. I didn't take a picture but today Amiah and Ammon and I bowled on the deck. We got out the kids bowling set and made a bowling alley. The weather was a-ma-zing. So beautiful. So we took turns and the first try Amiah did not succeed. She does NOT live by the motto "If at first you don't succeed...try try again." She thinks "If at first I don't succeed I won't play anymore." It was fun. Ammon and I bowled for awhile. Then we blew bubbles. Then we threw items off the deck and Amiah retrieved most of them.
Then we played cards. Amiah won. A lot. So she kept playing. Then we played a different card game and Amiah lost and so...yep. She quit. She is so funny spending so much of her time making her life a "get over it" time instead of just laugh at it.
She reminds me of me. She is so hard on herself and so am I. So, I love on her and laugh with her or at least encourage her to laugh. I tell her how amazing she is and how perfect it all is and winning is nothing but laughing is everything. I am preaching to myself as well and then we laugh together. I, who will never take a tease from anyone except my grandkids, will tease and joke and let loose. I get why these beautiful people are in my life. I get to let loose and lighten up on myself and be me and they love it and I love it and them.
Thank you dear God for sending these wonderful lovers of my soul that have come here right now to allow me to learn what no one else has successfully taught me. All those wonderful souls that stood up for me and believed in me were no match for these fine faces that simply want to be with me.
Be. With me.
So I will be. Whoever I am with. My grandkids are very good teachers.
Then we played cards. Amiah won. A lot. So she kept playing. Then we played a different card game and Amiah lost and so...yep. She quit. She is so funny spending so much of her time making her life a "get over it" time instead of just laugh at it.
She reminds me of me. She is so hard on herself and so am I. So, I love on her and laugh with her or at least encourage her to laugh. I tell her how amazing she is and how perfect it all is and winning is nothing but laughing is everything. I am preaching to myself as well and then we laugh together. I, who will never take a tease from anyone except my grandkids, will tease and joke and let loose. I get why these beautiful people are in my life. I get to let loose and lighten up on myself and be me and they love it and I love it and them.
Thank you dear God for sending these wonderful lovers of my soul that have come here right now to allow me to learn what no one else has successfully taught me. All those wonderful souls that stood up for me and believed in me were no match for these fine faces that simply want to be with me.
Be. With me.
So I will be. Whoever I am with. My grandkids are very good teachers.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Hormone Song by MEW
I have a little pill
doesn't look like much to me
before it came along
I was sad and so lonely.
Even though folks were around
I didn't hear that sound
of laughter and happiness
rage in my heart was found.
And so the doctor said to me
I think I have a remedy
let me give you this prescrip
before you check into the mental county
It will bring you back to yourself
it will make all things new
it's called Estrogen
"don't worry I take it too."
My husband got a ticket
on the way to the pharmacy
fear gripping his every part
stayin alive's how he wanted to be.
Hubby holdin his breath standing by my side
the pill went down with some water's sip
waiting for relief and my return
away from this sweating stranger's grip.
Believing this could be too good
could this really be true?
that this pill's promise soon would come
I could smile and sing again too?
Five days later there was a glimpse
of that Mary Ellen we used to know
a sparkle, a snicker, and even some sleep returned
the signs we had searched for so long high and low.
And today almost two weeks have come and gone
that little pill has worked real good
and now we can party and laugh and giggle
more of the day than not I feel just like I should.
Who would have thought a little white pill
could make such a change in our life
Hubby can joke free from fear
Almost like when she became his wife.
No more constant but occasional temps rise up from hell
the lady of the house begins to yell
"It's so hot in here! Let's open a window!"
Why? no one can explain, not a soul can tell.
I love life again and that pill it's true
what the doctor said and the promise given
when she said it will help and restore so much
I have come back happily joining the livin.
doesn't look like much to me
before it came along
I was sad and so lonely.
Even though folks were around
I didn't hear that sound
of laughter and happiness
rage in my heart was found.
And so the doctor said to me
I think I have a remedy
let me give you this prescrip
before you check into the mental county
It will bring you back to yourself
it will make all things new
it's called Estrogen
"don't worry I take it too."
My husband got a ticket
on the way to the pharmacy
fear gripping his every part
stayin alive's how he wanted to be.
Hubby holdin his breath standing by my side
the pill went down with some water's sip
waiting for relief and my return
away from this sweating stranger's grip.
Believing this could be too good
could this really be true?
that this pill's promise soon would come
I could smile and sing again too?
Five days later there was a glimpse
of that Mary Ellen we used to know
a sparkle, a snicker, and even some sleep returned
the signs we had searched for so long high and low.
And today almost two weeks have come and gone
that little pill has worked real good
and now we can party and laugh and giggle
more of the day than not I feel just like I should.
Who would have thought a little white pill
could make such a change in our life
Hubby can joke free from fear
Almost like when she became his wife.
No more constant but occasional temps rise up from hell
the lady of the house begins to yell
"It's so hot in here! Let's open a window!"
Why? no one can explain, not a soul can tell.
I love life again and that pill it's true
what the doctor said and the promise given
when she said it will help and restore so much
I have come back happily joining the livin.
You're Beautiful
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eq29Owv_8yU&feature=related
A wonderful song that sings my heart song right now.
You are beautiful.
Me too.
A wonderful song that sings my heart song right now.
You are beautiful.
Me too.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
To serve is to love
As I posted yesterday and now restate: My hormones are kicking my butt. Nevertheless Jim and I have concluded that when possible we will smile at my attempt to remain kind in the midst of desiring to remove his head. And blessed is the occasion when we can laugh. I laugh first and then he knows he can laugh with me. I feel bad (and anyone would) when the unfortunate occasion comes that he laughs first and I do not follow. And still he is a sweet kind companion that merely desires for me to be happy.
HOWEVER:
Yesterday he neglectfully rang my cell phone to inform me that we are having a guest arrive in a few minutes that will be here for the evening and will spend the night in our other house guest area. She is the sweetest soul and so easy and unpretentious. She also needs to eat. As do I. As does Jim.
Jim and I can fend for ourselves and I would love to have a regular cooking routine with dinner complete and nutrition at the top of the list but I have not attained that at this stage. I have wained. But I digress. That will be a different post.
So the question remains hanging in the air in the emptiness of cell phone land "Should we eat at home or would you prefer to eat out? I am so willing to take us out to eat and we can go wherever we decide. But we do have that yummy chicken and all those fresh things we just got from Bountiful Baskets. So you tell me and we will do whatever you want. If you want us to go and you be left in quiet...that is fine too."
See? Isn't he amazing?
So I did not respond. I only said we will see when I get home which will be in about an hour. Is that ok?
"Absolutely."
So when I returned home I realized how silly it would be to go out to eat with this plethor of food, so I cooked.
I wasn't so tickled when I started but as these sweet people (Jim and Elizabeth) visited as I cooked and we began to smile and laugh about little and big things my heart began to swell.
It felt good to put together some yummy nutritious simple food and add some love and special to it and then watch them eat it. It was warm and just right and not pretentious or perfect. Just simple.
It is the beauty of serving that brings out a warmth inside that my heart needed at the moment. I needed to put my hands to work (not that hard even) and desire an ease of the evening for everyone. As I softened and thought of others and put my hormones aside I reminded myself how this service stuff works. It is a beautiful time when others enjoy my efforts and I can think of someone else and their comfort and pleasure and consequently I am served.
God is a master at creating win/win situations. When I serve then I am served. That's a win/win if I ever saw one.
HOWEVER:
Yesterday he neglectfully rang my cell phone to inform me that we are having a guest arrive in a few minutes that will be here for the evening and will spend the night in our other house guest area. She is the sweetest soul and so easy and unpretentious. She also needs to eat. As do I. As does Jim.
Jim and I can fend for ourselves and I would love to have a regular cooking routine with dinner complete and nutrition at the top of the list but I have not attained that at this stage. I have wained. But I digress. That will be a different post.
So the question remains hanging in the air in the emptiness of cell phone land "Should we eat at home or would you prefer to eat out? I am so willing to take us out to eat and we can go wherever we decide. But we do have that yummy chicken and all those fresh things we just got from Bountiful Baskets. So you tell me and we will do whatever you want. If you want us to go and you be left in quiet...that is fine too."
See? Isn't he amazing?
So I did not respond. I only said we will see when I get home which will be in about an hour. Is that ok?
"Absolutely."
So when I returned home I realized how silly it would be to go out to eat with this plethor of food, so I cooked.
I wasn't so tickled when I started but as these sweet people (Jim and Elizabeth) visited as I cooked and we began to smile and laugh about little and big things my heart began to swell.
It felt good to put together some yummy nutritious simple food and add some love and special to it and then watch them eat it. It was warm and just right and not pretentious or perfect. Just simple.
It is the beauty of serving that brings out a warmth inside that my heart needed at the moment. I needed to put my hands to work (not that hard even) and desire an ease of the evening for everyone. As I softened and thought of others and put my hormones aside I reminded myself how this service stuff works. It is a beautiful time when others enjoy my efforts and I can think of someone else and their comfort and pleasure and consequently I am served.
God is a master at creating win/win situations. When I serve then I am served. That's a win/win if I ever saw one.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
My hormones
...are kickin my butt. I have been so upbeat about the next stage of my life and how this transition is going to free my body up from the early stages of flux to somewhat of a evenness. But this is literally wiping me out. I am going to the doctor. I give. I will beg or plead or whatever I have to do to get some help with this.
My brain has been so foggy that even writing (which is so easy for me) has been a struggle. It is very strange having no reactions to things. Just like the emotional barometer reads ZERO. I search for words. I cry without warning. I react to things too fast.
I throw in the towel. I give.
Menopause...you win.
For today.
Soon I will have something in my possession that will kick your butt back. And then I will be very very pleased.
Have fun with me today. Churn my emotions, mess up my vocabulary, cause rivers of persperation. Have at it. Your days are numbered.
My brain has been so foggy that even writing (which is so easy for me) has been a struggle. It is very strange having no reactions to things. Just like the emotional barometer reads ZERO. I search for words. I cry without warning. I react to things too fast.
I throw in the towel. I give.
Menopause...you win.
For today.
Soon I will have something in my possession that will kick your butt back. And then I will be very very pleased.
Have fun with me today. Churn my emotions, mess up my vocabulary, cause rivers of persperation. Have at it. Your days are numbered.
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